Puso ko ay Siya

 I am not a person who is reliable to tell things about life, learnings and inspiration, but I guess since I have my own thoughts I would like to just write everything I want to say here in my Blog. Life and struggles are ought to be together, when life does not gave you challenges then life in not worth living, sometime we people do not have same capability and severity of struggles in life, that is why we say, the Lord gave you that problem and struggles in life maybe because he knows that you can make it through.  I believe in that, but sometime it is just our defense in ourselves just to keep on doing, and I feel like it is a frustrated approach in life, maybe we could say to ourselves that we can all have our strength to face challenges in life, give it all, then I will face it. The Lord's Holy Spirit is with us, whatever happens. the sun rises in every person in this world may we be bad or good. We all sometimes and for sure, that we make ourselves the God of our life, t...

Same shit, I am forgiving myself for not writing everyday, which I believe at the very least help me improve my vocabulary, and exercise my English proficiency skill. I caught myself doing somethings useless every now and then, I play games more often than reading in my free time, I have very challenging situation in me right now, I do not have any job that could help me survive my schooling, by the way, I passed the admission exam in law school, and I am about to enroll myself with my remaining money for the down payment and then make my very best to find a great job that could help me pay may tuition fee at the same time with time that could lend me for my schooling, and that I believe if the Lord will grant me a job in the government. There are lots of challenging I am see I will be facing, what I guess the things that improved in my is my patience, my positive outlook in way( crossed finger) I pray, that I do, because, the Lord lead me here in our little house with so much things n...

 I know that only God can tell what will happen to me tomorrow, in the next days, months and years of my life, but only I know is I do not hold my life, because death is inevitable and that I should be grateful for what I am experiencing. I am learning how to see things that happen to me in more positive outlook by looking at what can I learn from difficult things that I experience, perhaps I should call it not difficult but could also a challenges in my life, things that are not usually happening to me in a daily basis and I look at it as more challenging. I am seeing it now as a improving experiences in my life, I cried to the  Lord to help me, I pray that he help me, I ask Him to forgive me for what I said to Him for betraying Him and again, still asking for his help whenever I need, I always come to ask for help, and I do not have anyone to lean on. I do not know what will happen to all my plans, I am not even hundred percent sure if this is the right path I should take in...

 Procrastination again, My life has been so much laid back right now, but I am making myself a commitment to full blast my effort once I found out that I passed the law school. I should force myself to do what I need to do to improve myself, I am too lazy in my life, I do no know if I am really doing myself a favor, by doing all these decision in my life, I hope that God is guiding me my path for going to law school. What I really thinking is that I am really can do work and study law school?

It is too late for me to write, I should have been sleeping but I procrastinate, and now, whatin I just want to do in my life is, to play games, I do not know what I am going to do in the next day. I am jobless, and I do not know if I can face any challenges these days to come, of course I have no choice but to face challenges that will happen to me. The truth is I am overwhelmed by the fact that I have different life right now, I feel I have to do all the things for me to survive in a day. I live in a place where insects and wild animals are many, I just killed a small snake just this morning, I am saddened that I had to do it, I just think that if I am to release it, it will grow bigger and might go again in our place, in the other side of point of view, we are at the middle of the field and that it is just normal that there are lots of snakes out there, and that I have to be more familiar with these animals, and that I am hoping that it will not come over here again and might kill o...

 Right now I am experiencing different life that before, I decided to build a house for me and my mother who I am taking care off because she has stroke disease and half of her body is not functioning, I decided to go here for us not to spend our money for rent of house, but our situation here is much different from our place we are used. This is much harder than before, because this place is far, and it is in the middle of rice field, the roads are still rough, and actually muddy.  I am fortunate to have a motorcycle that I can use for us to but foods and as well as for me to travel, what is just challenging moment for me is, that because of the place is in the middle of muddy place, the things are always muddy, we do not have our connection in water district instead we use deep well, and manually we get our water thru pumping it, carry it in our house. There are lots of animals like rats and snakes, in the evening there are lots of insects biting us. We are far away from mar...

On the interview in Tonitalks by Tony Gonzaga on Youtube. Tony asked Baron this question, referring to the people who questioned his truthfulness about his changed personality and whole as a person, this is what he answer, Toni Says: Is this really the new Baron?  Baron answered: "I do not have to answer to anyone except my God, because only him and I have a relationship, and this relationship is very special one., nobody can take that away from me Toni" This is one of the very great conversation I will remember and want to remember of that interview on Youtube, that I want to share with you. 

 How we really want to feel so alive? Do we need to find love for us to feel alive? is that what a single person usually keep on telling to themselves that there is something inadequate in their lives just because they do not have their love life currently. But what really good in being single? when you can dance alone, enjoying the music, although having a relationship really have advantages, there is something that you can enjoy that a person with relationship cannot do. you can do whatever you want, without thinking about the feeling of your gf/bf, you absorb much of negativity when quarrel happen between your partner. you can always, listen to great music in you tube. 

 Yow, I just realize how amateur I am when it comes to writing, I'm too far from how writers in the blogs and in newspapers and other great websites, on how they good in listing their topics and how they write their articles, they are great, how they use words and sentences, I wonder will I ever get there someday, by just doing this blogs. I just doing what I know I have to do everyday, I do not know if am really improving, but for all I know I am doing myself a favor whenever I try to write here, or any in my social media where I can use my brain writing any nonsense shits that come out from my brain.  Maybe, I have improve a little, I do really believe it, because, for what I remember, in months or years ago, I still have to stop while I am writing, but now I can actually write simultaneously, just some of the spelling I do not know, like that word, I guess you will know it, My words are so basic, but I am starting with these, little by little, I am learning, I know I am doi...

 Yes, I do believe something in me that is not good in term of my attitude, I have this attitude where in when I feel confident, I tend to sort of mock people of maybe I look down on them, I do not know really but I guess I do it in my mind, for me to properly explain it, I will give an example.  When I feel that I am unstoppable, I think of sort of saying bad things about people who mistreated me, who look down on me, and that I am thinking of a vengeance from them, explaining it further, I am guilty of this act, that as of now, I am just no one, and they, I suddenly think that when that time I already achieve my dream, I'm gonna go to the people who do not believe in me, who looked down on me, and that they will be ashamed that they do not believe in me, and that it will be a slap on their face, for them to think that I cannot achieve what I want in life, that is sometimes I am gonna do in the future, I know, or maybe at the very least for me it is not great, because I kind ...

 Yeah! I used to listen to this song, and now I am too tired to write anything, but I have to do it, this is for me, for a little exercise in my mind. I am procrastinating, I had so much time wasted, I hope I can share this to you, for you to learn from my mistake I am doing, I am too much attached to a game, I am too distracted to things that did not matter to me, or to my goal as a person, I have told here that Do not be deceived , God cannot be mocked, a man reaps what he sow. A now here I am listening to a Romanian song which I do not have any idea what it means, I just addicted to listening to this song, I am also attracted to learn about Romania, I always see beauty to a person who is white, blonde who are usually western people, as Asian person, I maybe have this colonial mentality about beauty is when you are white, that is why I see blonde people much attracted, anyways, I'm just curious particularly in Romanian culture, I do much have information about this country and cu...

Today I going to tell you about things that is very important for me to learn in order to survive in the law school. I know maybe this writing of me making the reader tired of listening about things I am writing, I know for a fact that I am not organized person, I do not have step by step techniques and plans about what I am going to write or think, I just keep on writing things. I am dreaming of one day, I could be them too, I always think that I they can do it, for sure I do it too, I am just thinking of myself that I am insulting myself whenever I say that I cannot do it, I am not saying everything in this world if someone did it then I can do it too, this refers only to somethings I badly want to achieve, then that's what conclude that I can do it, I really want it, then I can do it. I always say after that , If God's will, always and will be, I am still trusting in those words, I the Lord's will, then it will happen whatever you do to stop it. I read something from my ...

 Yeah right, it is dawn already and that I am still awake, I do not know why I am still up, but what I am pretty sure is that, this is not good, and that I am not doing great since I failed the PNP application. I do not know how will I share those things in my life, I laid for days now, and that I do not think this is doing any good to me, I am fighting to end this procrastination and laziness, I am stagnant as hell already, and that the clock is ticking I will be soon be financially broke. But anyway, I will share in this writing what I learned, that I must need to read and write a lot when I am planning to become a lawyer, that is the first thing, the second thing is that I watch someone in facebook that stay in my mind for a while and hope someday, I will remember this short video and tell myself, I did it too. So this is it, someone who is previously a janitor, passed the BAR, and become a lawyer, he shares about his family, and how they support him, prayed for him and he cried...

 Today, I learned that your happiness is your responsibility in life, I am still alive now, to do what makes me happy, I am sad because some people are trying to manipulate me to do what they want me to be, and not what I want to be in my life. I am worried right now, that I am moving to someone who wants to dictate my life, but I just do not have the much of a choice because they are someone who help me in my life, but I am angry and saddened that I am demotivated because of them, for their word that coming from their mouth about my plans in my life of becoming a lawyer. But today, I learn something, that it comes to my mind that it is the rightful thing I must do, that I am the holder of my happiness, I am the worker of my future, I am the only one who is in charge of what life will give me, and that all the things happen to my life is because of me, and that if I am going to do what pleases me. Things that happen to my life, is that I am the responsible to this, I may fail I hav...

 For the greater glory of the Lord and salvation of humanity, This tells a lot of things to the person who truly live by this words. Okay, I will try myself to elaborate things about this words, I did not say it is the greatest things a man should be, what I do know about the bible is you have to truly love the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul, and all the things like, dying for someone, written in JOHN 15:13 which is laying down someone's life for his friend. The word for the greater glory of the Lord, tells us about doing things for the glory of the Lord, doing things that make Him happy, I am not really doing great when it comes to my faith this days, I had a failure and that I kind of having traumatized for what happened, I mean I said that I got sulk to the Lord for not achieving my plan, but right now, I am moving on and I am little by little accepting the fact that I will never be a policeman in this life, but anyways, coming back to the said statement, I would like n...

 They say in life, if you do not have a problem then you life is not normal. In life where as you grow older, things changing, whether you like it or not, there is a saying the change is constant, maybe that is the reason why, life is changing in a blink of an eye, that is what still thinking up this age of me, that it will happen. Today, you do not know, where will you be tomorrow, you do not know what happen tomorrow. They that if you want to enjoy this life, you should adapt and accept the things you cannot change or undo, you have to learn how to accept it. What I learned right now is that, it is not easy to write valuable things if you are not at ease in life.  I want to write things that people can learn from me, because right now I just writing anything I want to say, or what are my thoughts, I do not know what this life brings me, I just maybe I could still keep on living.

 There is called different crime commission, but this is different from what I am going to write today. I am always telling to this blog that I want to become a lawyer, since my plan of becoming a policeman does not happen, and now today, I am moving forward to my life, I guess, I am pursuing law school, just this evening I had the final interview from Bulsu college of law, this is the last step since I took a written exam from it. This is the story, a month ago I was not really sure about going to law school since I have a financial constrain and I am a jobless person, I pick to become a policeman instead, but apparently since I had shared it with you, that I failed miserably from this experience.  Anyways, I took a written exam from BULSU College of law, I paid a admission exam, even I have not really sure of taking it, I took the chance of not getting the job of PNP, and sure enough it did not happen, so while I am in the process of applying in the PNP the College of law sc...