What is waiting for me?

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 I know that only God can tell what will happen to me tomorrow, in the next days, months and years of my life, but only I know is I do not hold my life, because death is inevitable and that I should be grateful for what I am experiencing.

I am learning how to see things that happen to me in more positive outlook by looking at what can I learn from difficult things that I experience, perhaps I should call it not difficult but could also a challenges in my life, things that are not usually happening to me in a daily basis and I look at it as more challenging.

I am seeing it now as a improving experiences in my life, I cried to the  Lord to help me, I pray that he help me, I ask Him to forgive me for what I said to Him for betraying Him and again, still asking for his help whenever I need, I always come to ask for help, and I do not have anyone to lean on.

I do not know what will happen to all my plans, I am not even hundred percent sure if this is the right path I should take in order for me to live a much more helpful and fulfilled life, what am I really like to do, what qualities I should have in order for me to somehow happy for what I have chosen to do in my life.

I know for a fact that as a Christian, I should live for Christ, but I am telling honestly telling myself that I am not really doing what God wants us, His believers to do in this world, but I am hopeful that somehow I could be a better person, and better servant to Him, I am doing my best to be someone who he will be proud of.

For all I know I always speak about myself, I am blinded for my hopes to have a better life, I always focus on my self. I know, I pray that somehow, I could live for other not only for myself.

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