Puso ko ay Siya

Goodness, is a word that will only come out of your mouth whenever you experience unexpected in your life. But what really the death penalty will do in the Philippines? A country that is known to have a person that has an authority to abuse its power over the people who are below in him. You are little person, when you are poor, there really no justice in this country, where the only rich people are the one that really have a justice. death penalty will only be implemented to low class of kind of people in this country. I am so tired to do this.

Today, I am going to read all again these letter or blog that I have made, I actually think that it is very much self centered and for the sake of only my life and my family. Maybe yes it is the only inspiration that make me pursue these dreams, but I just to let my self to be reminded that I want to achieve my goals in order to help my family and other people, that someday I will be able to share my blessings, but then I want to remind my self that even in this time of my life, I was able to help several people in my life without thinking of any agenda or anything in return. I am proud to share it here that the Lord can rely on me if he is going to bless me more, I do really appreciate what the Lord has done in my life, and that if I will look in my past I have several things that had change in my life, and that I am very much thankful in the Lord about these things. I have done so much failures and sins in my past life, but then I think that in order to move forward I have to a...

Today, July 27, 2020 What really I want to do in my life, still doing what I know that can possibly improve my life, I have goals to do, but I failed because I have not acted what I want to accomplish. I wrote that I still have few months before I will decide if I am going to leave my current job, I have resorted to find another job, or at least business that can sustain my family, when I said family is my mother and my brother that rely on me and to my sister. I am a middle child of 3 children of my father and my mother, I father is already gone, a year ago he died in stage 4 cancer, from that day forward we are only 4 in the family, actually 5 because my oldest sibling ( my sister) is already married and that make us 5 member in the family. What I am planning to do have our own house since we are only staying at my brother in law's house and that we are burden to their family and now I do have little achievement in life, I was able to pay a small lot in our hometown and ...

Today, July 25, 2020 Yes, you need to do it, not because you are already perfected the right way and you are sure that you will succeed in it. That is not the life we have, or at the very least that is not the way my life is, I do it because I just need to do it, that in the process I will learn to do it right. What have reached today, right now? my answer is I am still far away for reality, for the things that I looked up to, for the thing that I want to have in my life, for the things that I dreamed for my family, but still I am working little by little, and I am now learning to accept the circumstances that I face everyday of my life. I am now happier than yesterday, I am experiencing things that I do not really think that I can do it before, life is really mystery, and I am looking ahead for a better life for me, a better perception of life that I am facing. Sometimes feeling positive is all that you want in life in order to survive it.

Today, July, 19, 2020 What is friendship? take a deep breath and exhale it slowly, my cat is by my side, it is already late in the evening, I should be sleeping by now because I have work tomorrow morning Monday, another week in Olongapo. I did not able to write about myself more that 4 days I think, and I was a little guilty about it, I went home to Pampanga on Wednesday last week because we have a meeting coming day, and days passed and I did not write anything, I was little busy, but not too busy for me not to write, but anyways I here again, I just read weeks ago that we all do procrastination and after feeling guilt about not doing what you need to do, you just need forgive yourself that it happen to all people the important thing you do is to stop procrastinating. This story is about friendship and not just about these things, and go back to my story I am little bit happy coming home in Pampanga, because I had a long weekends form Friday to Sunday I was able to visit and...

Today, Junly, 14, 2020 I did not wrote anything yesterday and I feel that I miss the chance to learn, I have thought of many things to write but then I did not do it, and eventually forgot about it. Today, I work 12 hrs, I went out of house in 9 am and came home at 8 pm, It was so tiring day but a productive day, I got to experience talking with someone and learn something from them from what life is about, that even in riches there is still problems and there is no guarantee of happiness, while you just can't look down on people who have not much of cash but has all what he needs in life. My housemate in my current apartment has decided to go home and luckily that her home is near to my area that I visited every now and then, I told her that if she want I can drop her in their house, that is 146 kms away from our home here in Olongapo. She happens to work here but recently resign and wanted to take a break and go home. I do not know how her life story and what...

Today, July, 12, 2020 It takes discipline to learn little by little, just like yesterday and the other I did not wrote anything, and that's is a shortcoming from me because I believe that learning is about consistency, doing it everyday for the better, maybe I do not have any system to follow, a curriculum and a exercises to do but then writing anything even in a small way I improve my writing skill little by little. the other day that was Saturday, I plan to write something that day about my realization and that I will share it here today,. What I realize is that relationship building is also about maintaining realationship, it is a consistent doing, communication and effort. That is also a secret to a good relationship , so on Saturday I had the opportunity to go home to my home town Pampanga using my service car since public transportation is still not operating totally there is some route but in Olongapo to Pampanga is still not operating, so coming back to my story, I we...

Today, July 9 , 2020 I breath deeply and then exhaled it, you have to do it. Sometimes people who laugh a lot are the people who are stronger and the people who have lots of trials in life, they learned how to cope up with the stress and face all the challenges in their lives. I learn that independent people are more stronger than to those people who are dependent, and sometimes people who are independent are the more happier, because they have succeeded their challenges in their lives and have built their self-esteem. Today, I am just sort of happy even that there is nothing especial happen and it is a usual work for me today but what makes me happy is that is taught myself as I wake up, I prayed and thank God for another day and told myself that I good, I am well and I have to face another day and fair enough the day ended well, I told myself while in the car listening to the music that this is a good songs, I smiled my lips and think that it is great day today. there is not...

Today, July 7, 2020 Lipat in English is migrate, what's interesting is our family name is Lepatan( from from lepat(lipat)) and there you are, from my childhood I was too used in migrating from places to places, from Manila where I was born, to Pampanga and then to Cebu where I studied kinder garden, to Mindanao in my grade 1 which I did not finish because we need to migrate to Pampanga, and then I took again my grade 1 schooling and grade 2, after grade we migrated again to Magalang, an another town in Pampanga, for the reason that we had a free house there it is a government project to the people affected by Mt. Pinatubo. In history, Pampanga and Zambales are the two provinces which was most affected by the eruption of the Mt. Pinatubo in 1991, there is actually a rumor and I have not confirmed it that when the Mt. Pinatubo erupted the earth was moved in its orbit a millimeter, I do not exactly know and I really do not have the fact about it, I just heard it, and I do n...

July, 6, 2020 Today, After a week of finding a new house to rent, finally I found it, several people and checked their house to rent, and finally I hope that this one is that the Lord guided me here, I pay 8500 pesos for my deposit and advances, there will be some adjustment due to price of bill that I will pay monthly, but I chose this because I felt unsecured in my previous place, that place is price wise, because it only cost 2,200 pesos unlike this current house I am staying right now 4,250 a month exclusive electric and water bill to estimate it maybe I a lot 5 thousand pesos a month, that would be a great cut to my salary and savings, just to add up this one I found is not actually expensive it is just the previous house is just too cheap in this city, it is just there is an history of suicide and there is weird guys next to my room, so I think I should be thankful I somehow feel safe right now even I am still adjusting because I have another housemate but for my first impres...

July, 2, 2020 Yesterday, We came to Olongapo to get my things because of the circumstances happen these few days, and now I am struggling to find another apartment house, and I  am thinking this for a week, since I traveled to Bataan to ask my boss to have me in his apartment while finding my new place in Olongapo, I was struggling and keep praying up until now I do now have my place to stay next week but I am positive on Monday I will have my place with the guidance of the Lord, meanwhile I was with my boss and had a great opportunity to know him more. This is our story, my current boss is just the same position I am last 2017, when I started to work as Med rep in Bataan, to state that I have known him from then but never had a deep talk, I do not really know about his background, but we are friend since we work together until he had his promotion and became my boss. These past few days I learned so much from him, he said that when you asked guidance to Lord the day before...

June, 28, 2020 Today, I write you to day to share what happened these past few weeks, it is also related to what I have learned just this Friday, that the apartment I am staying at has a history of suicide, someone took his/her life, I was not interested to learn if the person is a girl or man, and this is the horror story perhaps that I will be sharing. So, I was assigned to Zambales area, this year as Med reps assignment of area is not consistent, so I asked with my friend to help me find house rental for me to stay, and finally we found one, but then the tenant master gave me an option of this apartment I am currently staying, June, 29, 2002 Yesterday I did not continue my writing because of some reason, I am gonna share to you what happened last Friday, I found out from an old lady who is an owner of store where I am usually buying ice for my jag, that I am presently staying at dormitory where there is an history of suicide, so I gonna tell you from the start why and what a...

July, 1, 2020 Today, I choose to keep going, often times you just want to cry it, and tell people around you how miserable life you have, you feel so tired, but you choose to fight, you choose to see positive things, what are the things that make you happier like saying I am still blessed to have this life because I am alive, and that the Lord will somehow make a way to this challenge you are facing. Today, you feel like, stop it I quit, it is just so easy to quit but then what come next, is turning back will makes you strong? will it make you a better person? sometime you just want to cry out, and I think it is not wrong, but then as times goes on, thinking of your problem alone and cry it will not make  a difference, and it also make you down, and I realized that you have to face it, learn from it, cherish the shameful moment, the fearing moment you have now.