I am still wondering what life is all about for me

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 Am I hard to myself or I am just completely idiot for keep on asking what I  am going to do with my life, life is unhappy and not contented, my brain is not working, I am demotivated in every way, I keep on telling myself that I should work to on to my dream but ended up not doing it, and then I move on and keep on doing it again, but I am clearly not focused and there are brokeness and inconsistency in my life.

I am self motivated, I am almost cringe on this words, because my life is always ups and down, that is why life is all about perhaps it is true, but you need to be focused, balanced and in the right mind to the point that the downs are not keeping you from stopping, but for me my small downs are getting me demotivated to think that I should stop and quit and surrender in this dreams.

what then I get up and still doing it, and then I still feel I am not good enough and it seems that the fate does not match from what I supposed to be in this time.

Life is still good, I woke up, and eat and I am not sick, my body works good, but the thing my mind is out of control.

I hope I can get through it.


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