It is my Birthday today

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 November 3, 2020


Today is my Birthday,

I do not know where to start, but I should be doing it because somehow this is the day that I will declare my decision to do, I close my eyes for a second and prayed that the Lord blessed this day and this writing, may God see this also as my prayer, for all my flaws and sins I thank him for the guidance he has given to me, to my family, and to my career.

God always guiding me, I've not been attending church for months and that I felt guilty about it, but still somehow I know deep in my heart he is guiding me to my decisions in life, I have faith on this, that He has been talking to me every time I have a decision to make.

Today, I should be happy and that I pronounce my plan to this platform, as my written contract that I will be achieving something in my life that I wanted to be in the future.

I fear of doing it, I am still not confidence of doing it, but I know that God wants me to do something in my life, and that I will not doing my plan I will regret it someday. I am not hundred percent sure and that I am taking risk to achieve this.

I want to be a lawyer!

I am now 28 years old, and that I will be using my time now thinking on how will I be achieving that goal of my life now. 

Months ago I wrote to this blog what will I do and I am finding my great exit to my work, I am planning to resign but somehow deep inside me that I should not be resigning in my job without a valid reason, a valid act that will result for my life a much better outcome, I prayed about it, and I said to my self that I will be giving myself sometime to pray and to think, I was not able to consistency prayed about it, and that I am sorry Lord, but I know deep in my heart that I really want to have some goal in my life, and that I felt I have nothing to do in my life anymore, other that motivating me now to help my family, but I know in my current situation I do not have a capability or maybe I think that I have minimum capability to help my family and other than that I have a little motivation of doing my current achievement.

Come months ago, something happened it came to me so fast and that it struck me big time, I was not even able to properly sleep thinking about it, year ago I was browsing for no reason what if I study law in the Philippines but as I've search about school and its tuition fee, I tend to just forget about it, and that I am not capable of doing it financially, but after a year then here I am again, thinking of doing it but today in much more enthusiasm.

I dream of coming back here in this letter someday after I achieve this dream of mine, I actually want it to post it somewhere, where people will see this that it is my vision to be a lawyer, and that I will doing every inch of this little brain to achieve that dream of mine.

I am just sad right now that I do not have my father with me to tell me that I can do it, and that I am really capable of doing it, and to this day I am dedicating this to my father who passed year ago. I know, he will be proud of this, I am declaring now that I should and I will achieve my dream of becoming a lawyer.

May this letter be a remembrance to me whenever I feel of backing out and quitting, I pray to the Lord that, please God I am asking your guidance to give me wisdom, knowledge, financial, mental and health in order to execute me plans of achieving my goal. 

I stop to think for a while to think of what I will be writing right now, I want to speak to my father deep inside of me, but it is creepy to think of that because he is already dead, and that I do not want to talk to somebody who is dead.

But then, again as I've search who is my motivation of doing it, I am saying that it is to my father. I am pretty sure that if he is reading this he will say and positively agreed in me to come and chase my dream. 

This is for my family, that someday they will be proud of me, to my mother even she does not talk more of our decisions in life, but pretty sure she will be happy someday, to my sister who is always in my back, she was the primary source of my motivation right now for she has been ever supported my decisions that I make, whether I am wrong or at fault or somehow done shortcomings, to my brother in law to my sister's husband, I am thanking them for all of this.

I am not 100 percent sure of achieving my goal so that I wrote this here in my personal blog, and that this is to purpose of a remembrance to me, a note to myself that I have a goal to make.


I thank God for this wonderful time of my life that I was able to write these things up, it is also my preparation to achieving my goal. I am building my confidence, competence and capability, and sir Lex in motion said, and that I am doing it little by little, I am not smart enough but that is not what dictates and hold the future of the person, it is always God, and that if a person wants if he will do so, I am asking now in God's favor, ask and I will be recieving.

I prayed to God to help me passed the Civil Service Exam, months of preparation on it, I passed, preparation is the key, after that I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. I passed.

Today, I will doing this again, I already bought 3 codal books right now, my sister helped my buy this, she was excited to help me out on my goal. I thank God and may she be blessed by the Lord even more, I prayed that she conceive her baby and have happiness with her husband.

Laslty, I want to end it, I was not used to have a celebration in my birthday, my birthdays are always normal, with my 28 years of existence as I have remembered I was not been able to receive cake with my name above it, I envy a little to some, but then it is fine :D I am most happy now that I able to write this things up for me to have something to read and remind me about my goal.

I thank this day, may this be a wonderful day and I am praying for a wonderful achievement ahead, I prayed to my self that I will be more patience, more prepared, humbleness that I should always wear, that note to my self to be more positive in life, that I should be accepting my flaws in life, that I should not worry about everything, that I should keep on doing what I am supposed to do, I should be more healthier, remind me self to improve everyday.


Praise God! 


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