Often time you just have to wait and believe

-

 Today,

October 17, 2020

I need to write now,

so today, the day went to so fast, we were able to finish our greeting to the CEO of the company, who is going to have his birthday this coming week. The region meet together in order to make our video greetings, and that is the activity I've done today.


I actually, did not know that we have our meeting today, because yesterday I went to bed early and then planned to wake up in dawn to order to do my report in the company, I did not know that before I went to bed again to rest.


So today, it was all good, I thank God for today that I am now writing something on my blog, than to scroll on my facebook and instagram, I thank God that even slightest improvement will happen to me in terms of my writing than scrolling facebook and spent my rest doing that, It makes me feel guilty doing those things, but it does not make me any better.


Now I plan to study some laws in the Philippines, I should be starting to learn and commit myself to everyday write and read about laws in the Philippines, if I really want to be a lawyer someday.

Right now at the very moment I realized that my problem right now is first, do I really want to go to law school, second, do I have the capability to support my own schooling since right now no one in the family can support me in that dream( If I really want it), third is am I capable of learning those things like laws, I do not know really, while driving home from our activity in our company, I am thinking if do I really want to do it, because as I read in newspaper and in law school group, what I see in their is full of contradictions in the Government, that only rich people has the power and the ruler in the Philippines, what I am thinking is, will be worth for me to finish this dream if it will be useless since that powerful are only the rich and that poor people like me will only be a nuisance in the society, but then I am fighting my mind, myself to please do it, because maybe someday I will regret this if I let it slip away, this opportunity of me,  months ago I told my self that I will be praying these days before November this year, that I will decide what I really want in my life to do, what I know is that I want to resign already, and weeks ago I realize that I want to be a lawyer and praying that I will pursue it.

At first I was so excited to learn about laws but right now I am starting to doubt myself if I really want it and if I really capable of doing it.

what I want to know that, is that I do not want anybody decide for what I want and that nobody's opinion for me should I entertain.

I want it, or maybe I do not but I decide to do it, because maybe I will regret not doing it. and now I should do it. not because I already told them, but I decided to learn it, maybe they are right that I cannot do it, but then I humble myself that I should be doing it only because I want it, it is my dream.

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